Love Strives In Hurting
by MissToastie
Summary: If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Calzona. S9 finale spoilers. - COMPLETE -


**First time writing Calzona...not sure if I feel it fits me.**

**Angsty and I'm sorry about that because I love them too.**

**- MT**

* * *

Their ride home was painfully quiet. Sofia was fast asleep in her car seat, Arizona stared out the window; watching rain drops chase one another to the end. And then there was Callie, driving her broken family home - millions of thoughts at once unable to focus on one.

The car pulled into the drive, Arizona carefully grabbed a sleeping Sofia and cradled her in her arms and walked into the house behind her wife.

Callie moved her way through their home to their bedroom and closed the door behind her. She flicked the light on, and allowed herself to finally cry out in pain. She crumbled to the floor and held herself close. Her wife, the love of her life, had cheated on her. After every single thing they had ever been through - she had cheated. And it hurt. It hurt like hell.

It wasn't like Callie Torres wasn't used to being cheated on; in fact everyone she had ever been with had cheated on her at some point in their relationship. But not once did she ever imagine it would be her wife Arizona Robbins cheating on. Not once did she imagine the woman she so desperately loved, the woman she was raising a child with, the woman she saved would cheat on her.

Arizona watched her daughter sleeping peacefully. Her heart was torn. Deep down she knew what she did was wrong but she wanted to feel again. She wanted to be with somebody who didn't know everything about her, who didn't remind her of the plane crash, who didn't remind her of the leg she once had. She felt damaged, she hadn't felt herself since the plane crash and she didn't think she'd feel okay ever again. She resented her wife - that one person she used to trust with her whole life.

Sleeping with Lauren made her feel like her old self, like her really old self. The one who slept around carelessly, the one who was free from everything; free from pain, free from hurt, free from family. It wasn't like Arizona didn't love her wife and their daughter...she did, with all her heart. It was that she no longer loved herself, she could no longer look at Callie and see only love and happiness...it was now tainted with the memory of her missing leg.

She sighed a dramatic sigh, kissed her daughter on her forehead and walked over to her bedroom door.

"Sorry," Arizona mumbled as she felt her wife remove herself from the door. The blonde doctor watched her wife wipe her face and move around to her side of the bed.

"What for?" Callie refused to look at her wife.

"I- I didn't know you were behind the door."

"Ha," Callie shook her head and reached for a bag from underneath their bed. "I thought that's all you'd apologise for."

Arizona shoved her hands in her pockets and watched as Callie went through the nearest chest of drawers. "What are you doing?" her wife didn't answer but she knew what she was doing. Callie was packing her bags, she'd be taking Sofia and they'd be leaving. "You're giving up." Arizona's voice was a broken whisper.

"Not once did I give up on you Arizona, not once!" Callie wiped her nose with her sleeve. "I fought for you; I fought every step of the way." She raised her voice.

"Sofia's asleep."

"Right. Because now you care about Sofia." The darker haired of the pair threw some clothes roughly in the bag. "Shame you didn't care before sleeping with that home wrecking whore."

"That is not fair, Calliope!" Arizona pointed at Callie from across the bed. "You know how much Sofia means to me, you know how much I love her!"

"Yeah Arizona, you love her so much that you go and fuck some whore in the on call room." Callie spat her words in anger. "I'm sure our daughter really fucking appreciates that."

"Stop making this about Sofia," Arizona yelled back. "It's about us. You keep acting like you were there."

"No, I wasn't there Arizona and there is not a damn thing I can do about that so stop making me feel like it's my fault that I wasn't on that stupid plane." Callie's voice screamed around the room. "No I wasn't there listening to Meredith cry for her dead sister, nor when my best friend was suffering."

Arizona folded her arms across her chest and looked to the ceiling as the memories flooded back to her mind.

"But you know what? I was there when my best friend died; I was by his side when he took his last breath. I was there when I had to make the decision on whether or not to amputate your leg or lose the love of my life, which strange enough I did end up losing you so I guess it was a lose lose situation for me!"

"I don't know how to be the same person I was. I don't know how to be the Arizona I used to be. I don't know how to be a good mother, or-or a good wife." Arizona sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Well you don't cheat on your wife for starters." Callie stated before she exited the room.

* * *

"We'll get through this." Arizona watch as Callie placed a bag near the front door.

"Cristina has said that it's okay for Sofia and I are to stay there for a while." Callie moved around the kitchen, not daring to look at her wife.

"No," Arizona's voice was loud and shaking. "I made the biggest mistake of my life and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She moved around to the kitchen and grabbed her wife's wrists. "But you can't leave me. We're good together. We can get past this. We're good."

"What if we can't get past this?" Callie bit her bottom lip as her eyes began to tear up. "I can't even look at you Arizona. I see _her_ when I look at you."

"Stay. Please. I'll get help."

"You said you didn't need help."

"I do. I'm not the kind of person who cheats on someone they love so so much." Arizona grabbed her wife's head and forced her to look into her eyes. "And I love you Calliope, I do. I've made the biggest mistake but we can get through this. Please. I need you."

Sofia appeared in the door way of her room. "Mama."

Callie turned to look at their daughter. She removed herself from Arizona's hold, moved to Sofia and picked her up in her arms.

"I need time."

"How much time?" Arizona watched her wife place the bag over her shoulders.

"I don't know," Callie turned to face Arizona as she opened the door. "My heart hurts too much to be near you right now."

"Callie," Arizona began to shake uncontrollably. "Callie?!" Her voice broke as tears spilled her cheeks as Callie shut the front door with a loud bang. "CALLIOPE?!"

**the end.**


End file.
